Matter

 

I have been blessed with great teachers in my life.  Teachers that lead me into healing, awakening, awareness.  Teachers that help me develop my skill, my art form, my self. 

I met an amazing teacher a few weekends ago when I chose to embark on a new apprenticeship. 

After a full day of an inward journey, our teacher led us outside for an exercise in aligning with our Totem Animal.   We were to call in our animal ally, become and embody this animal, draw upon its medicine and wisdom, and then die to our Animal Totem. 

Jaime Sams explains in the book, Medicine Cards, that "When you call upon the power of an animal, you are asking to be drawn into complete harmony with the strength of that creature's essence...They are a part of the pathway to power.  The power lies in the wisdom and understanding of one's role in the Great Mystery, and in honoring every living thing as a teacher."

I found myself tearing up with the explanation of the exercise.  Truly unsure why, I gave myself space to feel the source of the tears.  And in that space of allowance, I realized that I was not at peace with myself.  I was not at peace with my life story.  And, in humble truth, this life has been hard.  So incredibly hard at times.  Disease, death, divorce, depression ... It can leave a person broken. 

There are times when I tend to gravitate to the realm of Spirit to escape the harsh reality of life.  Definitely to find guidance and love and healing.  But, there is a part of me that does it to escape. 

And after the last few years of life, I wasn't too keen on coming back to this physical form.  I just wanted to be done.  And thus, the tears.    

But there is no escaping the Universe.  There is no escaping Spirit and energy and consciousness.  There is no escaping healing and, ultimately, becoming. 

And so, in reverence and surrender, I allowed myself to fully embody the medicine of my Spirit Guide.  I laid on the cold ground, uncomfortable in my form and in the elements.  And yet, I followed the beat of the drum and the song of the Shaman. 

And I became a Wolf. 

The wolf is the teacher of medicine and as I embodied this animal, I felt Mother Earth under my paws; I felt grounded in her.  I saw with a clearness of vision the elements and energy around me.  I felt my power as I encircled my tribe.  I understood the depth of my loyalty to and protective nature of those that I call my family.  I felt my connection to Grandmother Moon and the illumination that her intuitive nature brings.

I felt complete alignment with the wisdom and knowledge that Wolf Medicine brings. 

And then, the moment came to die to the wolf.  To fully release attachment, embodiment, and form.  I shook.  Cried.  And fully allowed myself to break. 

And in this moment, there was no need to hold it together.  No need to hold my head up, wipe my tears, swallow it down, carry on.  No one needed me.  No one was counting on me.  No responsibility laid before me. 

And in that moment, there was permission to break.  To lose it.  To die. 

And I felt my form release. 
Break down. 
My flesh,
my bones,
my emotions,
my hurt,
my fears,
my life story. 

I broke down.

Into pieces. 
Into fragments of matter. 
Trace minerals. 
Elements. 
Blood. 
Water. 

And Earth Mother accepted me.  Drew me in.  Enveloped me.  Buried me in her depth.  Held me.  She released my charge.  Transmuted my hurt.  Allowed me to transform.  In my own time.  In my own way. 

Fragments of me poured into the pond and then evaporated into the sky.  I remained there and gathered essence, power.  And then I began to rain.  To cleanse.  To baptize the very ground that healed me.  To give back to the beautiful mother than held me. 

A distant voice called to me, beckoned me back into my physical form.  Called me home. 

And as I rained down, looking over my body - there was a sense of gratitude for this life story.  For the lessons and wisdom held within this form.  For the medicine of this animal ally that I embody. 

And for the first time in my life, I wanted to embody me.  To draw upon my own power.  My own medicine.  My own heart.  I wanted to retain my knowledge and wisdom and LOVE.

And as the rain fell over my form, I felt my essence come into more and more dense material form.  From energy into matter.

And then I realized,    

I Matter.    

And the medicine I hold is a vital part of Great Spirit. 



And so it is with you.  You Matter. 
And the Medicine you hold is a vital part of the Collective Great Spirit.



Aho.

Point of Connection

There are certain pursuits that propel a person forward.  

A Passion.  A Purpose.  A Drive.  A Calling.  

For me, I love creating space for the divine to be manifest.  For healing to occur.  For hearts to open.  I love helping people heal.  Helping the physical form manifest the beautiful spirit within.  

I always wanted to be a chiropractor and acupuncturist; since the 8th grade.  I didn’t even know what it was, and I had never received any treatment, but I knew that was what I was suppose to be.  Granted, I took a round about way to get there: english teacher, youth leader, yoga instructor, and THEN chiropractor.  But, truth be told, I always enjoyed the scenic route.  Plus, doctor translated actually means teacher, so I wasn’t too far off.  

My brother always wanted to be a doctor too.  Since before I was even born. And, for those of you that know my family, you know that my brother and I are, lovingly, at the exact opposite sides of a spectrum.  Truly. 

Eastern meets Western.  

Non-conformist verse Perfectionistic.

Feminine and Masculine. 

But the beautiful aspect about a spectrum is that there is always middle ground.  There is always a point where too extremes come together.  A point of connection.   

And, the best thing about family, is that our hearts beat with the same blood. That we are grounded from the same Mother, Family, Tribe.  

A mother who taught us from the same Passion.  Purpose.  Drive.  Calling.  Spirit.  

_______________________________

A few weeks ago, my brother sent me this beautiful vision statement.  It moved me and so I felt compelled to share.   

Sometimes “good medicine,” doesn’t come in the form of a pill or test.  It comes in the form of a person.  A person who is willing to go beyond the limits of their technical expertise and professional requirements.  A person who, at their core, seeks to understand and accept all that come along their path.  A person who never misses a chance for improvement or healing.  

Life is a journey – one that contains difficult terrain, unreliable landmarks and, often, changing destinations.  It requires a special type of guidance to navigate through.  A guidance that relies on questions, not commands; inner strength, not authority

personal involvement, not control.  

We commit ourselves to becoming trusted guides for our patients.  We will help them draw their own maps, as we realize their life and their health it is their journey to take.  At all times and in every way, we will guide our patients, and their families, so that we can plot a course uniquely suited to their individual path.  

We will embrace the insights found in nature’s four directions, and therefore approach everything we do with a beginner’s mind, a passionate heart, a nurturing spirit, and a soulful wisdom.  

We know, understand, and have experienced that there is nothing more debilitating than a sense of powerlessness.  So we commit ourselves to nurture them, and make them strong in spirit – ever changing and exploring various options and paths.  We will nourish their sense of control in the midst of uncontrollable events and we will walk beside them – never in front and never behind.  

We seek to transform each patient and their family, and reconnect with the healing power of faith, love, and caring – of which medicine was intended to be.  

We will turn concern into comfort, pain into purpose – and will change medicine, our patients and ourselves during the journey.  We will be a source of light and life – an inspiration to all that we touch, with caring, compassion, nurturing and guidance.   

“The path will not always be easy, the choices will not always be clear, but the cause is sure and the Spirit will bear witness to the truth”, and we are excited about taking the journey with you.  

____________________________

There are certain pursuits that propel a person forward.

I am a nonconformist and I would follow that vision statement anywhere.    

BASIC IMMUNITY

There is a lot of controversy around vaccinations.  There is a tendency to create separation and “camps.”  Those that vaccinate.  Those that don’t.  The “anti-vaxers,” the “non-vaxers,” the “pro-vaxers.”  Research, life experience, informed discussions, negative talk, judgements, ignorance, fear, guilt, shame...you name it.  It is all part of the  current conversation around vaccination.  

The conversation I would love to have, the one that I think should be the basic foundation of any vaccine discussion, is not necessarily about vaccinations at all.  The foundation, to me, starts with the immune system.  

How it works.  

Why it works.  

What it does.  

How to support it.  

How to nourish it. 

Then the discussion can lead to vaccinations: what they do, how they are introduced to the body, how that effects the immune system, long term immunity vs short term immunity, Th1 vs Th2 immunity, first/second/third lines of defense... etc.  Then we can have a true, informed discussion about physiology, pathology, immunity, and the role that vaccinations play.

The purpose of our immune system is to recognize invading pathogens, prevent their spread, and ultimately clear them from our body.  Our basic immunity has 3 lines of defense that our bodies use to fight off pathogens.   

THE FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE

The first line of defense involves natural barriers: our skin and the mucosal linings in our respiratory, gastrointestinal and urogenital tracts. The skin forms a tough, impenetrable barrier formed by layers of keratinized cells. The internal surfaces are specialized for interaction and communication with their environment and are more vulnerable to pathogens.  The cilia in the lungs, the acid in the stomach and the urogential tract, and the mucus in the gastrointestinal tract all help to create a barrier from invading pathogens.  One specific enzyme, lysozyme, that is secreted in tears, sweat, and saliva breaks down the cell wall of the invading pathogens.   

The cell wall is the brain AND the protective barrier of any pathogen.  Breaking down the cell wall of the pathogen allows the rest of the immune system to render the pathogen null and void.  Without this essential step, the pathogen can reek havoc on our immune system and our body. 

If there is a breech of any of the barriers of our first line of defense, the next line of our innate immune system steps in. 

THE SECOND LINE OF DEFENSE

If a pathogen breeches the epithelial lining, the immune system will mark, or “flag”, the pathogen as “non-self.”  Antigens will bind tightly to this pathogenic invader which will inhibit its growth, replication, or interaction with human cells.  This mechanism is called neutralization. 

Mast cells, neutrophils, macrophages, antibodies and immunoglobulins can all work together to render the pathogen inactive and trigger an inflammatory response (redness, swelling, heat, pain).  The presence of an antigen triggers the activation of complement. When complement is activated it attaches to the pathogen and acts as a flag for effector cells. Effector cells then bind to the antigen-complement complex, and engulfs and destroys the pathogen.

THE THIRD LINE OF DEFENSE

The third line of defense involves the adaptive immunity; an immune response that adapts and changes to what we’re exposed to in our environment. The third line of defense recruits mature lymphocytes and various other cells) to increase the power of the immune system.  

During lymphocyte maturation, each cell is programed to make a single species of cell surface antigen receptors. The population of circulating lymphocytes targets millions of receptor species, which enables all possible pathogens to be recognized. During an infection only those lymphocytes bearing receptors that recognize the specific pathogen are selected to participate in the response.  The immune system asks that their numbers be expanded and matured to produce more effector cells of the same type. The full benefit of the adaptive response occurs about a week after the infection began. After the infection is resolved, we are left with an abundance of lymphocytes and antibodies for that particular pathogen.   We hold memory of that infection so that if the same pathogen breeches the 1st and 2nd lines of defense again, the system remembers it and may destroy it before external symptoms arise. 

Our bodies also have to clean up the mess of the killed pathogen, the inflammation or histamine response, the battlefield if you will. This looks like sneezing, coughing, vomiting and diarrhea, etc. These are normal responses and should not be repressed. They should be closely monitored for signs of imbalance or emergency. 

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In order for natural immunity to formulate the appropriate defense and produce a memory of the infection, the pathogen needs to pass through all three defensive layers of immunity.  

If the pathogen is not flagged.  If it is not denoted as “non-self,” there creates confusion and the immune system starts attacking the pathogen as “self.”  Let me repeat and restate that...  If the pathogen skips the first and second line of defense and is not flagged as “non-self,” then it is classified as “self.”  If the pathogen is classified as self, and the immune system becomes aware of it, then the immune system starts attacking “SELF.”  When self/non-self recognition is lost and the body starts attacking itself, it is called autoimmunity.

There is so much more to this discussion: 

How to support the immune system.  

How to nourish the immune system.  

How to rebuild the immune system.  

What throws the immune system off.  

What does an infant and child immune system look like?  

How does the immune system transfer from mother to child?  

How does the immune system mature?

And then, 

What is the purpose of a vaccine?

How does it effect the immune system?

What happens when reactions occur?  

... The discussion can go on forever.  

Chew on this for now.  More later.  

Searching for the Succulent

Searching for the Succulent

 

 

We dress her up.  We pin her up.  We touch her up.

We expect a poster, a magazine spread. 
We expect a woman not to age.  Not to change.

Where did we go wrong?  What happened? 
Where did we lose our perspective? 
When did we start teaching women that they were not good enough? 
That they had to change in order to be noticed. 

When did we start teaching women that they had to be noticed in order to have worth?

A resent study reported a significant increase in breast augmentation for 'women' age 13-19.  When I read this study my heart dropped.  What are we teaching our young? 

 

And when, as women, did we come to believe we had to change the female form in order to accept the female form?  In order to be beautiful.  Perfect.  Put together.  Confident? 

Why do we have to hold it all together in such a way that we are compared to the air brushed pictures we have come to emulate?  What happened to the succulent, wild woman that let her hair down?  That danced barefoot in the rain? 

We cover ourselves up with makeup.  We unground ourselves with heels.  We tummy tuck, get breast implants, botox, liposuction.  We wrap ourselves up in plastic.  We bake ourselves in tanning beds. 

We do all of this in order to present, and ultimately, to accept ourselves as beautiful. 

I understand we live in a culture where certain things are expected.  Taking care of ourselves out of self love is imperative.  Dressing up and presenting ourselves with confidence and beauty is an expression of self respect. 

 

Being a woman is about striking a balance between our soul-self and our expression of that self.  As a woman we have to pick and choose what represents who we really are.  What represents and reflects our Spirit and stay true to that. 

 

And the only way to do that is to know our Self. 

Not who culture tells us to be.  But who we really Are.  On the inside 

Sadly, our culture and, it seems, our belief systems about ourselves ask us to represent and reflect who we think we SHOULD be.  Expressed in our form.  Which, as culture would lead us to believe, defines our Essence, Spirit, Worth. 

Actually, we are created in such a way that our spirit and our body thrive on living honorably and being authentic.  I am sorry to say, our culture has long forgotten that. 

Our women need to ground.  We need to see more of the sacredness of women.  The real, raw, unapologetically authentic woman.  A beautiful mess of emotion and passion and heart.  A woman who grounds herself into Mother Earth.  A woman who considers and connects to her Spirit.  Her purpose.  The reason for her life on the planet.  A woman who is in touch with herself and gets a bigger picture of Life and Spirit and Sacredness.  A woman who is comfortable in her skin, in the temple that was created for her.  A woman that takes care of her form in a loving and honorable way. 

A woman who understands that it’s not about what heels you wear.  It’s about how you fill your shoes.  It’s about how you stand.  How you treat people.  How you treat yourself. 

_______________________________________________________

 

I want the wild.  I want the heart. 

I want her hair down and her heels off. 

 

I want the succulent, wild woman. Created in God’s perfect image. 

Just the way you are.